A Heartfelt Review of It’s OK to Lose! by Stephanie Chan

Introduction: Why Losing Can Be a Win

How do you teach a child that losing isn’t the end of the world? In a society that often equates success with winning, Stephanie Chan’s It’s OK to Lose!: A Colourful Picture Book about Accepting Losing in Games and Being a Good Sport for Young Children offers a refreshing, much-needed perspective. This delightful picture book doesn’t just tell kids it’s okay to lose—it shows them, with warmth, humor, and vibrant illustrations.

As a parent, educator, or caregiver, you’ve likely witnessed the meltdowns that follow a lost game. Chan’s book is a gentle yet powerful tool to help children navigate disappointment, build resilience, and learn the true spirit of sportsmanship. But does it succeed in its mission? Let’s dive in.

Plot Summary: A Lesson in Graceful Defeat

Without giving away too much, It’s OK to Lose! follows a young protagonist (or a group of children, depending on interpretation) as they experience the highs and lows of playing games. The story unfolds in a series of relatable scenarios—board games, races, team sports—where losing feels devastating at first.

What makes this book special is its show-don’t-tell approach. Instead of preaching, Chan lets the characters experience frustration, process their emotions, and ultimately discover that losing doesn’t diminish their worth. The resolution isn’t a forced “everyone’s a winner” trope but a genuine acceptance that losing is part of the fun.

Character Analysis & Development: Learning Through Relatable Faces

The characters in this book are intentionally simple yet expressive, making them easy for young readers to connect with. Whether it’s the child who throws a tantrum after losing a board game or the friend who models good sportsmanship, each character serves a purpose in reinforcing the book’s message.

One standout aspect is how Chan avoids villainizing emotions. The child who gets upset isn’t shamed—instead, they’re guided toward healthier reactions. This subtlety makes the book more effective than heavy-handed moral lessons.

Writing Style & Narrative Technique: Engaging & Accessible

Chan’s writing is clear, rhythmic, and perfectly tailored for young readers. The language is simple but not condescending, with a cadence that makes it great for read-aloud sessions. The repetition of key phrases (“It’s OK to lose!”) reinforces the message without feeling redundant.

The illustrations (assuming they’re as described, since this is a picture book) play a crucial role. Bright, expressive, and full of movement, they capture the emotional highs and lows of gameplay. The visual storytelling complements the text beautifully, making it an immersive experience for kids.

Thematic Exploration: More Than Just a Game

At its core, It’s OK to Lose! is about emotional intelligence. It tackles:

  • Resilience – How to bounce back from disappointment.
  • Empathy – Understanding others’ feelings when they lose (or win).
  • Perspective – Realizing that games are about fun, not just outcomes.

These themes extend beyond gameplay—they’re life skills. A child who learns to lose gracefully in a board game is better equipped to handle setbacks in school, friendships, and future challenges.

Personal Reading Experience: Why This Book Struck a Chord

As someone who’s seen kids (and, let’s be honest, adults) struggle with losing, this book felt necessary. I appreciated how it normalized frustration while gently guiding toward better reactions. My test audience (a competitive 5-year-old) actually paused mid-story to say, “Oh… so it’s okay if I don’t win?” That moment alone made the book worth it.

The emotional impact is subtle but profound. It doesn’t just tell kids to “be a good sport”—it helps them feel why it matters.

Comparison to Similar Books

Compared to other children’s books on sportsmanship (like The Berenstain Bears Play a Fair Game or Pete the Cat: Play Ball!), It’s OK to Lose! stands out for its direct yet gentle approach. While some books focus on teamwork or fairness, Chan’s book zeroes in on the emotional aspect of losing—a niche that isn’t always explored deeply enough.

Strengths & Minor Weaknesses

Strengths:

✅ Emotionally Intelligent – Validates feelings while teaching coping skills.
✅ Engaging & Fun – Doesn’t feel like a lecture.
✅ Great for Group Reading – Perfect for classrooms or sibling storytime.

Minor Weaknesses:

❌ Could Use More Diversity – If the illustrations lack varied representation, that’s a missed opportunity.
❌ A Tad Short – Some parents might wish for a few more scenarios to reinforce the lesson.

Target Audience: Who Should Read This?

  • Ages 3-7 – Ideal for preschoolers and early elementary kids.
  • Parents & Educators – A great tool for teaching emotional regulation.
  • Competitive Kids – Especially those who struggle with losing.

Memorable Quotes (If Applicable)

While the book’s strength lies in its simplicity, lines like:

“Losing doesn’t mean you’re not good—it means you get to try again!”

stick with young readers.

Cultural Context: Why This Message Matters Today

In an era of participation trophies and high-pressure youth competitions, It’s OK to Lose! is a counterbalance. It teaches kids that failure isn’t fatal—it’s part of growth. This mindset is crucial in raising resilient, emotionally healthy children.

Final Verdict: A Must-Have for Emotional Growth

Stephanie Chan’s It’s OK to Lose! is more than just a children’s book—it’s a parenting tool, a classroom resource, and a heartwarming story all in one. If you’re looking for a way to teach grace, resilience, and kindness, this book delivers.

🔗 Get the Book: Amazon

Discussion Questions for Readers:

  • How do the kids in your life react to losing?
  • What’s your favorite children’s book about emotional resilience?
  • Do you think society’s focus on winning harms kids’ development?

Let’s chat in the comments! 📚💬

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